Pronunciation (Pro-English or Instant English)

Sadly there are so many rules on the pronunciation of English we all find ourselves learning the spelling of all the 300,000 words in our dictionary, instead of simply spelling them. If you told an alien there are two ways to pronounce each letter of our alphabet and combinations of letters have different sounds I am sure the alien would find a dozen ways to pronounce the word ‘the’ (such as teehee), none being correct because of course there is no way to spell ‘the’, it’s a 3 letter sound? He would flounder on ‘day’ and ‘cat’ (die and Kate) and what about cough? So we have rules, ‘I’ before ‘E’ except after ‘C’, except when it isn’t. As you can see with ‘day and cat’ phonetic spelling struggles without rules and the rules aren’t much cop. About the only advantage our language has over hieroglyphics or Chinese is that it fits easier on a keyboard. The thing about English is that it can be modified so that words can only be pronounced one way. I tried this with a story I wrote ‘Genesis’, a short terrorists tale. It very quickly became apparent that the major difficulties with our dual sounding letters were caused by vowels. It became clear that if we could remove none essential letters like ‘Q’ and ‘X’ and re-evaluate overlapping letters like ‘c’ and ‘k’ then there would be space on the keyboard for new symbols, for our ‘essential’ double letter sounds, thus writing that could only be pronounced one way was a possibility. I thought to myself wouldn’t it be nice if there was just one story out there that around a billion people with some grasp of English (accents aside) could pronounce in the same manner, so I made the attempt.

As stated above this would require new symbols which would cause confusion thus for this story at this time that idea is shelved, all I have done is denote the end of a sentence and the start of a new sentence by a full stop only and made the pronunciation of letters obvious. The kiddies alphabet letters a,b,c are pronounced as kiddies do while capitals are pronounced as for the adult pronunciation, ‘A’ is pronounced as ‘Ay’ and ‘B’ is pronounced ‘Bee’ and that’s it (cat and dA), nothing new to learn. I know it looks ugly and vowel sounds could have been expressed by hyphens leaving capitals at the start of sentences but I wanted something that really stood out with no additions. It would probably reduce the time for a child to learn English spelling from a lifetime to a week but for adults I’m afraid we are beyond hope but give it a go anyway, it does allow sci-fi and non-dictionary names (and a lot of dictionary names) to be pronounced correctly. I have to smile at the attempts some dictionaries make to help us with word pronunciation, often complicating matters further. Note the words that remain unchanged and for those who have read ‘Genesis’, story modifications. Stop immediately if your brain hurts and ask for a refund. Actually if you persist it gets easier.

Nearly forgot. As I said the story below is based on ‘Genesis’, it can be found at shadesofevil.com so if you can’t get this together log on, it's very short and worth a read. The unwanted truth is of course that words cannot simply be spelled by their sound; the spelling of each word has to be learned.

jenesis

abdul and savaka sat bisId bulet pited mAsonri. it wos lAt aftrnuwn in jrusalem and public transport wos nEr ful.

abdul Xamind his XplOzivs belt and fasend his cOt. "suwn a bus wil bE along. wE wil rEk revenj. yErs wE hav sufrd for lands wE hav lost, for frends huw ar nO mor."

savaka rAsd an Ibraw. "ar U syur of wot U duw. wE hav bEn frends for yErs and I suport yur corz but mrdr is bEyond mE. I duw not sE haw mor kiling helps."

"juwz ownli understand vIlans. juwz clAm awr land, yet not a lIftIm agO fU livd hEr, awr fEt stud on awr land."

"Even sO U risk Eterniti. U duw rElIs cristians belEv in a plAs nAmd hel, for everiwon, and U cud bE heding dawn sed hIwA."

"hel is not for truw belEvrs, savaka."

" it is a plAs of fIr and brimstOn, of Eternal torment, a plAs of sAtan. bE syur of yur belEfs."

"if hel Xists so dus heven. besIds mI corz is just. I fEr not." abduls voys held pawer, if not complEt srtantE.

"sum belEv after wE dI wE ar rEborn."

"rEborn tu pA for awr sins, pEpl lIk ‘godls’. I duw not belEv ‘godls’. I wil tAk mI plAs in paradIs. wot I duw is not Evil but glorius."

"I mEn folowrs ov buda. lIk U budists belEv sufring is inseprabl from Xistens. budists strIv for nrvarna but not bI mrdring pEpl but bI tolrans and enlItenment."

abdul smIld, "if lIf wr sO simpl? I belEv wE must stand and bE cawnted. it is not abawt mE or simplE wot I stand for, it is for awr lovd wons; it is for frEdom; it is for awr fUtyur."

a sawnd lIk a bus wos hrd.

savaka sterd for long mOments intu abduls Is, abdul lukt bac. "U ar a folower savaka but I must lEd bI Xampl, pEs tu U mI frend."

abdul set of working orlmowst casUaly. hE workt tuwords a wAting bus.

savaka lukt on in horur. hE and abdul did not agrE but hE nU his frend wos not brAn ded or a fanatical folowr of 'lAden', huw it wos sed dId in afganistan. hE, lIk himself, carid qestyens abawt lIf and dawts abawt an afterlIf. it wos a brAv, yet mrdrus dEd abdul had ploted. savaka sat hed in hands, a tEr rowld dawn his fAs.

it wos standing ruwm ownli onbord; abdul trId to mics inviziblE but stil hE resEvd wrid glanses. hE avoyded pEpls Is arawnd him and qIetlE sed his prAyers. hE nU his fInal seconds of lIf tict awA; his bomb tImr wos set; his bomb nEded nO mor encorAjment from himself nor cud eniwon els hOp tu disarm it.

a yung juw grl mAd hr wA tu get of nEr wer abdul wos standing. hE lukt dawn; hE cud just sE hr fAs; hE had a verE strAnj fEling. for an instant hE hOpt his XplOzivs wud not detonAt, not at lEst until sed grl got of but it wos not tu bE.

it wos not as abdul imajind. hE sor a blInding wIt arc corsd bI his bomb befor his sIt wos lost; hE hrd a teribl bang as his Erdrums brst. hE felt grAt pAn wIl his bodi wos bEing ript tu pEses bI hUj forses. hE wos stil awAk; his brAn reqIrd litl to survIv a limited tIm.

abdul rEli didnt nO if hE wos ded or alIv but his sIt wos returning. it wos blrd at frst and orl lukt gOstli. hE hrd sawnds, frstli mufld but suwn orl wos clEr. hE wos in a hospital; hE had srvIvd his own bomb blast. hE trId to spEk but he cudnt sEm to form his wrds, hE just grgld. hE trId tu spEk agAn, "uw cuw cuwE igl." it rEli wosnt wrking.

hE hrd a loving and cering mAl voys sA, "hE sawnds so cUt."

"hE just luks lIk his big sistr," sed an adoring lAdi.

"his fAs wil orlwAs remInd us. wE wil never forget."

sed lAdi wos hOlding a pictUr. it lukt unclEr tu abdul but it remInded him of somwon hE nU; a litl juw grl….. huw wos stud nEr him befor his bomb XplOded? tu huwm wos hE listning? huw stud arawnd him?

"hE wil avenj hr pasing wen hE grows tu manhood." sed lAdi smIld sadli.

abdul wos fEling tIrd. hE felt somwon stik an object betwEn his lips. hE sukt on it. it wos comforting. hE flAd his arms and kikt his litl legs. hE trId tu regres bak tu haw hE had got hEr, but hE cudnt remember; in fact hE cud remember litl at orl. bomb sEmd tu com tu mInd, for a mOment enlItenment crost his fAs.

sed man trnd tu his mAt, "am I mistAken, did awr son just sA, 'O buda'."

"prhaps just bAbi tork, bles his litl coton soks. luk hEs gon tu slEp."

tAls end

Notes

With regards to accents this problem should be largely overcome. A Scotsman asked me the team. I had real difficulty with this until he pointed to his wrist. Perhaps pro-English may have helped his pronunciation ‘tIm’? Because here he would simply be pronouncing 3 letters with specific sounds instead of something which could be pronounced anything from ‘Timmy’ to ‘tie me’.

Consonants are usually pronounced as for the kiddie’s alphabet though there are many exceptions from D-Day (Dee-day) to Nvidia (Envidia), as in the giant graphics company. In Pro-English they would be spelt D-dA and Nvidia.

The second stage for this story would be to try and directly convert Genesis without rewording. This would give an idea of what double letter sounds were required. Clearly sounds like ‘ay’ and ‘ai’ plus many more would be ditched, however sounds like ‘th’ and ‘the’ would require symbols. Simply cross an ‘h’ for ‘th’ and double cross it for ‘the’. The third stage would be to make it presentable.

I think everyone should have a go at writing pro-English. It learned me more about our language than years at school.

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