Hypocrisy and Smoking


This comes from ‘Many Shades of Evil’, which in turn quoted from my old book of unwanted truths.


John leaves his house, spits like a footballer all over the pavement, blows his nose like a footballer on the road without the need for a hanky. Gets in his car, which belches blue smoke, throws his fish and chips paper out of the window, drives to his mates. Gets out of the car and urinates on a lamppost and throws up over the dog. Enters the house and switches all the lights on, ignites the fire, blowing smoke up the chimney and fumes up the power station stack.


His friend arrives and lights a fag. ‘How dare you,’ shouts John. ‘You are polluting my air.’


Cigarettes are the government’s best friend. It doesn’t matter how much you bleed the smoker with taxes he can’t stop smoking; these are usually poor people who don’t matter. You find some of them outside pubs in the snow inhaling deeply but since they were banned from public places they mostly stay at home sharing the smoke with their kids. I suppose if the government really wanted people to stop smoking instead of simply gathering more taxes they would try to ban them.