More Unwanted Truths

Britainís Broken Roads

When itís hot our roads melt and when it freezes our roads break up. In fact most roads are being repaired before they are completed. I think the idea is that a road should last just as long as itís guaranteed but the quality is so poor that roads donít even last that long. The unwanted truth is that if done right it pays to make things that fail. At this time our weather is freezing and snow is falling; we are running out of salt and grit. Snow ploughs would clear the snow and the speed humps

Burkas and Modesty

I can always remember an old cowboy film where this totally covered lady walked by this bunch of cowboys; they were whistling and hooting and by and large going crazy. At the time of watching all the girls were wearing mini skirts six inch above their knees so you can imagine I was totally confused by the cowboy's hysteria. What were they going wild about? An inch of ankle. We have the scenario where no-one bats an eyelid in a nudist colony yet when you parcel the goods like the lady on the film, the parcelled goods become a magnet. The unwanted truth is this modesty thing can have the opposite affect. As the burka is also worn like a hideout by little old ladies there has to be more to this.

Dentists and Pain

Many love to make their patients suffer. It is possible for dentists to numb your mouth without pain and work on your teeth without pain; it just takes a little longer. I know this because I once met one. Normal dentistry starts when the dentist says, ĎRelax, I am just going to thrust this huge needle in your gums multiple times.í

English

The language of the world? Clearly Mandarin is a larger tongue than English with they reckon around a billion speakers but like Welsh it's pretty localised while English has crawled around the world, mainly through the British Empire though in today's world where America is the worlds largest industrial nation the fact that they speak English is influential. Many Indians can speak English and many Western European nations are taught it. Then there is Canada, Australia and South Africa and many places on the African and Asian continents who have an understanding in some form or another. I guessed there was around a billion people who had been touched by English. The unwanted truth? The French hate it.......Or don't we care?

Extra Police Officers

I hear more calls for extra police officers on the beat from TV viewers and I certainly would like to see more on the street if they are being deployed to help us. Let's be realistic, if we are being mugged by a gang of youths what are the odds of the police turning up to save us? Compare this against the odds of being fined for doing a few miles per hour above the speed limit. The unwanted truth is that in many areas training more police officers simply means more traffic cops out for our blood. While no one wants speed freaks most motorists drive to the conditions and watch the roads instead of their speedometers.

Farmers and the Weather

I remember that year when the harvest was poor because we had a summer of sunshine. The following summer was bad also because it never stopped raining. The year after that we had half sunshine and half rain, too much of both and the year after that half rain and half sunshine, not enough of both, crops were poor and cash was tight. The farmer's lot is truly one of woe. I went down to the farm the other day to hear their story. I parked behind the four wheel drives, just in front of the McClaren F1 and the Bugatti Veyron. These guys really do have a sad tale to tell.

Huddles

These are groups of people who like to get their heads together to whisper and point at others. They thrive on gossip and scandal. The unwanted truth is that without someone to point at and talk about they are unhappy and sad.

MPs Expenses

The unwanted truth about expenses is that when you compile a list of stupid, irresponsible and nasty things some MPs do, their expenses disappear into obscurity. For instance, Gordon Brown encouraged the banks to take risks that cost us hundreds of billions. They also passed laws to make kids immune to adult control. Now half the kids are locked in their homes while the other half roam our streets like wolf packs, adults dare not approach them. Now government wants to punish kids for the stupid laws that let them off the leash in the first place. The list goes on forever.

Picture Quality

This relates to TVs and the like. Because you change from normal quality TV to high definition doesn't mean you will get a better picture. Picture quality is about data rates (information transfer). If the data rate is higher on analogue TV than HD digital then you will probably get a better picture on analogue. Analogue TV, is the standard they are scrapping, which is intended to make the government a packet at our expense. Analogue signals used to be of a very high standard, though if the transmission was a recording there would be some 'noise'. Sadly, though we still have analogue transmissions in most areas much of it is from compacted digital sources. Digital files are compressed so the broadcasters can use narrow wave bands and when they are compressed the quality reduces. Go into a TV shop and get them to put some of the lesser digital TV channels on a 50" screen. The picture quality is so bad it will make you cringe. In fact if you pause the picture while the camera is panning the picture is likely to break up.

Toilet Paper

The unwanted truth here is that it doesn't work. In the old days poor people used newspapers like the 'Daily Mirror' or 'Daily Herald '(Sun) for their toiletry needs, the perception that these papers were simply used for fish and chips was completely wrong. This moved on to 'grease proof paper'(Izal) or at least that's what it looked and performed like. We had this for decades in public toilets, about as much use as a disposable carrier bag; the paper all the skid mark jokes were made about. This was followed by today's standard, soft and strong. The stuff that little white puppy dogs run around the house with. This is the stuff peoples fingers go through. What's even worse is that half the people who use public toilets don't bother to wash their hands, best not to think about that. Then there is recycled toilet paper. I'll be damned if I know how they get it back out of the sewerage system. I have seen kiddies on the coast with little nets on the ends of cane poles, perhaps they are fishing it out of the sea. Lastly there is moisturised bio-degradable toilet tissue, the only one that actually works. When I wrote 'Silverbird' a quarter of a century ago it was a joke, Miss Finebody, a major irritant in the story was a joke but they don't use it on babies bottoms for nothing. It's quite impossible to clean anything with dry paper, smear some butter on your arm and try and wipe it off, it simply doesn't work; it doesn't even come close. I wonder how they carry on in the jungle? On reflection they must have more options than an expedition to the North Pole, although having said that they could cut a bidet(beday) in the ice and wait for a whale to swim by.

Top Jobs

Who is it that gets promoted when the boss comes up with a numbskull idea? Is the guy who says, 'Don't be such a prat; a car with three front wheels isn't going to work' or is it the guy who's not quite sure which is the front of the car but says,' That's a great idea boss, lets start production.' The unwanted truth being the bum licking worm is going to get the promotion. There is a sinister side to this insofar as some factory's are so dangerous they need someone competent in control.

Tuition Fees

All university students without rich mums and dads end up owing around £30k to various lenders during their university years, thousands in tuition fee loans which saves government cash. Because students become very rich when they get a job they have to pay this money back. The unwanted truth being many university students remain paupers yet the government still increase their taxation to retrieve this money. This is consistent with the governments 'screw everybody' policy (bankers and the like not included). I dread the day government realises it can save cash by introducing infant and junior school tuition fee loans. What fees?